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As most of you are aware this is Breast Awareness Month and if you
haven't already gone set the appointment right NOW!!!!!. But you
must be prepared for your mammogram. Many women are afraid of their first
mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day
for a  week proceeding the exam and doing the following practice
exercises, you will be prepared for your mammogram.

EXERCISE #1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door as hard
as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for
5  seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE #2

Visit your garage at 3AM. When the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect, take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
slowly back the  car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE #3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a  stranger
into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.  Smash
the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the
stranger to meet next year and do it again.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram.

And more 'funnies' that I've enjoyed on the net!!!!!